Gnorway gnarlivision – DVD preview

DVD available soon, here’s a taster. Dave’s viddage of team troll styling those amazing waterfalls. Health warning: this video includes some damp, inverted moments which betrothed people may find disturbing. Nice touch with the screaming.

Report is here: Norway Was Tops.

Hooray for all the cool videos coming through!


Postcard 1

Postcode from Norway, very exciting, promising a DVD of team troll exploits. Looking forward to it! As a taster, Dave has added a bunch more screen shots onto facebook.


Norway was tops

If its wet its always tops… and Norway was WET.

Towards the end of August, 4 young lads (Mike, Will, Phil H and myself), just a little wet behind the ears went to Norway in search of a little more action and excitement than the Alps has to offer… I would say that we found it.

Norway, is a little harder to get to than the Alps, the ferry takes about 26 hours, and the food & beer once you get there is extortionist so before you leave, best option is to load your newly purchased Van (thanks mike) with as much food, beer & wine as you can carry. They were pretty lax about what we carried on

Security: You got any knifes?
Us: Yes… lots of them, Safety Knifes for paddling
Security: What about guns
Us: No
Security: That’ll be fine then, as long as there are no guns.

And what do you do when you get on the ferry? As far as I can work out, Alcohol is the answer… pricey entertainment (£4.50 for a pint) but you forget about the price after the 5th or was it the 6th pint.

The Security on the other side was a little more intense:

Police: Does your friend in the back have a seat belt?
Will: Yes

Much staring at each other ensued, until eventually Will & Phil got out, walked through customs to be picked up on the other side and our journey continued.

From here on in we drove to a campsite near the Sjoa, A long drive where Phil discovered a song about girls kissing girls (I kissed a girl, by Jill Sobule) and our sound track was set for the trip.

The Sjoa was supposed to be a warm up, we started out on the “play” run.

We did all make it down in one piece, Phil had a staring competition with a hole, that looked like it ate paddlers for breakfast before electing to paddle around it. As a warm up it left me feeling slightly concerned.

Our second days boating we decided to take on the Driva, must be a typo… should have been Drive. A long drive was made longer by some creative navigation, rickety bridges and Norwegian speed limits. But we did get our first swim of the trip, thanks Phil… not a bad river, one large drop and a few other interesting bits. It was also our first encounter with Norwegian disinfectant rules, where all kit must be thoroughly rinsed after the river, my kit has never been so clean.

The next day was the Ula, which would have been better if it were fula… lots of slides, scrapes and water falls that were too scary to run. And maybe with a bit more water Will wouldn’t have bottomed out and broken his boat… still its amazing what you can fix with duck tape.

From here, it was down to meet Wiganite Phil Berry, who was living near Voss at the time (god knows where in the world he is now). Close to his house was a very nice pub. We did stop at a river on the way… but that story has been erased from our memories. Mike bought Swim beers and vowed not to play the wild rover no more…


Thursday saw us take on the Jordanslevi. Screen Shots from Norway. Which could be up there with the most photogenic rivers in the world. It was more what I expected of Norway, great pool drop, but the pools were small and the drops were big. Will had a lame arse day, so we were joined by Phil B instead. (oh yeah, I swam on the last drop)

Dave’s moment of Glorymike2.jpgphil1.jpg


Friday was the drive from Phlegm to Voss, and also the 6th day in a row we had been rained on. We were starting to get soggy, and the rivers were starting to get full… Will was back in form, I was nursing an injured shoulder. So Phil B was now in a different boat. A brief run down some river the name of which I forget lead to everyone realising there was just too much water… We had a Sauna day instead (why are Saunas always full of strange naked men, rather than strange naked women?)

Halfway between Voss & Bergen Ferry terminal was a river called the Strondlevi. Which seemed like a good option for Saturday… it was a quick blast.

Then back to the ferry, for 26 hours more drinking. My memory is pretty good until somebody started buying shots…

My other tip is for all the medics, if they ask for a doctor when you are on a ferry: They make it worth your while to assist. Some man’s heart attack was our good fortune. He got pumped full of drugs by Phil before being air lifted, we got a free meal & drinks at any of the Ferry’s restaurants, before a trip to see the captain.


Then back in blighty in time for work on Monday 😦

Over all an awesome trip, the rivers were big, the company was good. Much thanks goes to Mike for doing all the organising & most of the driving.

Previous post with links to more Norway photos:

Norway – links to photos

Will Mike Phil and Dave’s Excellent Norway Adventure! These photos are all on facebook (requires login).  Later there will also be reports, and maybe an explanation of their in-development sychronised river signals?

Ula falls Album: Part 1 – Will

Mike Album: Part 2 – Will

semi-four Album: Part 3 – Philberry