Dangerous things

On a thread at lucc, Si wonders if we should make more info available about Weil’s disease. Its a dangerous thing, quite rare, but guessing you’ve got it could be crucial, so we’ll make a link about it on the club website with some info.

Another good point was raised: Is it such a great idea to scare people? After all, it might put them off trying out kayaking, when really they would love it? 

After weighing it up, I reckon its best to give people a good scare about dangerous things, so I’m compiling a list of things for you to be scared about now.

Dangerous Nasty Things 1:

Weils disease is a dangerous nasty thing. It goes in your liver. It came from  a rat’s wee. There’s nothing nice about it. Dangerous. Nasty.

Dangerous Nasty Things 2:

Shoulder popping is a dangerous nasty thing. Everyone at work is always saying “Think outside the box.” But for once, DON’T! You need to think inside the box.

Dangerous Nasty Things 3:

Television and crisps. Television is bad for your mind, and crisps are bad for your sofa. After eons of sprinkling with crisp-crumbs, your sofa innards will start to grow creatures which rely on the constant heat of your bum. In a touching symbiosis, they will gain thermal comfort from your bottom, while you will benefit from not being so lonely. Then the creatures will evolve, with genetic mutations caused by glancing blows from the lasar beam of your remote control, as well as accelerated language development due to the influences of trying to understand “Countdown” without seeing the screen. One day, they will emerge out of your sofa, unfurling their irredescent red wings, and they will say “Vowel Please Carol!” and you’ll be so surprised that you will choke on your crisps and die.*

Beware, its a dangerous thing, this non-kayaking.

* Disclaimer: If you look very carefully you can tell that this picture is not real. The main clue is that wookie would not sit around dangerously watching TV as he has much better things to be getting on with. 

This is my list so far.

These are not the only dangerous things in the world, but they are enough to worry about for a start. 

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